Cars 3 (2017)

Cars 3

Written by Kiel Murray, Bob Peterson, & Mike Rich

Directed by Brian Fee

Accompanying Short: Lou

Written & Directed by Dave Mullins

So, let’s start with some good news and bad news. The good news is that Cars 3 is better than its predecessor, Cars 2. The bad news? It’s still part of the Cars universe, so I was still generally bored to tears.

The bully is confronted by Lou

Lou, the short in front of Cars 3, was cuter than I expected, focusing on a sentient pile of lost and found items attempting to outwit a schoolyard bully. It becomes sweeter than I thought it would be, with a sweet message wrapped up in some physical comedy. It may not be as deep as some of the other shorts, but it’s better than it looks on the surface.

McQueen and new nemesis Jackson Storm

Look, I will never like the Cars movies. I just don’t like anything about them, except for the art direction and a few of the more creative aspects of the universe. But beyond that, I just DO. NOT. CARE. I have no emotional investment in these characters or their motivations. Lighting McQueen potentially getting forcibly retired does nothing for me, mostly because I have no connection to that feeling, since I’m not a professional athlete. At the end of the day, the film is about car racing; I’m not a fan of sports in general, but of them all, car racing is so far down the list. Cars go around and around, over and over. It’s mind-numbing, and therefore, I just get bored to tears by this whole franchise.

McQueen faces a life of retirement and endorsements

One of the bright spots of the film is that the lessons from the atrocious Cars 2 seem to have been learned, with Mater taking a much-needed backseat to the action (seriously, his screen time amounts to like 10 minutes), and the laws of physics are reinstated, with actual damage occurring to the characters at times. McQueen’s accident on the track feels visceral and real, a far cry from the cartoony, nothing-dangerous-can-happen action of the previous film. However, since all the returning characters, besides McQueen, are virtually sidelined for the majority of the film, there’s also no major stakes, as we haven’t gotten to know these new characters enough to care about them (unlike other Pixar films, characterization has never been Cars’ strong suit).

McQueen and his “trainer”, Cruz Ramirez

The new characters aren’t really anything exciting; there isn’t really a “villain” in the more-traditional sense, but the cars most likely to fill that role are instantly recognizable as such. Cruz Ramirez is moderately interesting, but how can she be a trainer if she doesn’t know how to race? I get that her backstory is that she wanted to be a racer and was forced out, but shouldn’t she still be doing some sort of racing before being a trainer? It’s as if I went to go coach…well, car racing, I suppose: I’ve never done it, so how do I know what the heck I’m talking about? Cruz is in the same boat, so the scenes of her stumbling with actual racing actually worked against her.

This whole scene…just…why?

While I’m glad that there’s much less Mater in the film, the rest of the characters being almost ignored feels a little weird, particularly the relationship between McQueen and Sally. Perhaps it’s because their relationship is meant to be shown as “mature” enough that there doesn’t need to be any relationship drama (which, thank god), but their interactions feel completely UNromantic. The two feel more like good friends than romantic partners, and it just feel disingenuous.

Of course, weird plot issues still abound: How do the cars put on or take off those giant headphones? How do (SPOILER ALERT) both Lightning McQueen and Cruz win the climatic race, just because they both raced part of the race with the same number? I mean…is that a thing in real racing? Actually, I don’t care. It’s dumb. Just like this entire franchise. Cars 3 is an improvement on its predecessor, but that isn’t saying much, and it doesn’t do its franchise any favors. There is talk of a Cars 4. Pixar, please…just don’t.

SHORT GRADE: B+

FINAL GRADE: C-