Cars (2006)

Cars

Written by Dan Fogelman, John Lasseter, Joe Ranft, Kiel Murray, Phil Lorin, & Jorgen Klubien

Directed by John Lasseter

Accompanying Short: One Man Band

Written & Directed by Andrew Jimenez & Mark Andrews

I want to state, right up front, that I have never liked Cars. I don’t know exactly what I don’t like about it, but I saw this film in theaters when it opened and I was extremely underwhelmed. Fourteen years later and I’m still as ambivalent about it now as I was then.

One Man Band

The short One Man Band was released in front of Cars, and it’s okay, I suppose. Its premise, two one-man-bands vying for the attention of a little girl (or, more accurately, her single gold coin), is cute and entertaining enough, and there is just enough whimsy to make the viewer smile. I recall not being particularly enamored with the short when I first saw it, but watching it this time, I was surprised by the message that I took away from it: don’t be good at a bunch of things, be great at one thing. I think that’s just a great life lesson in general, and I completely missed it the first time around. Good job, Pixar.

Onto Cars. I find it difficult to name something I like about the film. Perhaps the art direction (the sequence of Lightning and Sally driving around is pretty gorgeous), or the clever ways that cars are incorporated into the surroundings (such as the mountains or the clouds). These aren’t unimportant details, but they pale in comparison to all the things that I dislike about the film.

First, there’s just the universe itself. I have no interest in cars. I need them to take me from point A to point B, but to be honest, if public transit were more reliable and widespread, I’d ditch having a car in the first place. I can respect a good looking car, I suppose, but in the grand scheme of life, cars are not a priority to me. As such, car racing is INCREDIBLY, mind-numbingly, boring. Having a NASCAR-style race be the driving motivation for the film provides no connection to me: I don’t care if Lightning wins the race…hell, I don’t care if he even makes it there. I have no emotional investment in the outcome of the film, so I’m left with simply wondering why I’m even watching the film.

Yawn.

I also can’t stand Lightning McQueen, and that’s probably because I can’t stand Owen Wilson. Wilson/McQueen spends the entire film whining about EVERYTHING that I just want him to shut up. I will give a positive note about his supporting cast, who are infinitely more complex and less irritating, so they are so much more interesting to watch. A film about cars trying to save their town from being forgotten is (marginally) more interesting than a whiny punk crying about having to be held accountable for his actions. There was an interesting (and timely) moment in which McQueen insults rusted cars TO rusted cars, and backpedals by basically saying “Oh, not you guys…OTHER rusted cars” WHICH IF THAT ISN’T A CLEAR CASE OF “YOU’RE NOT LIKE THOSE OTHER [insert race] THAT I’M RACIST AGAINST” THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS.

Mater…like “tuh-mater”…without the “tuh”

I’m not really a fan of redneck humor (I mean, yes, I did get caught up in the “You Might Be a Redneck” phase of the mid-90’s, but honestly, who didn’t? ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A LIAR AND IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED), so I wasn’t all that thrilled that Larry the Cable Guy had a role in the film, but I will say I thought Mater was pretty fun, and there was just enough of him not to make the viewers sick of him (which is exactly the opposite in regard to Cars 2). 

The universe of Cars is fun and inventive, but the film is marred by a grating lead performance and stakes that mean absolutely nothing to me. To my recollection, this was the first (minor) stumble by Pixar, their first film that wasn’t an immediate grand slam (even if it was still massively popular). Their first true flop is still a little ways away, but this film definitely feels like a misstep.

SHORT GRADE: A-

FILM GRADE: C-